February 2012
2 posts
2 tags
RACISTS (And Other Stories)
This fellow named Seuss, not a surgeon was he Yet he still could sense sickness, I think you’ll agree Corruption and malice, oppression and greed— He found people’s wrongdoings grievous, indeed. While pondering this, the Doc had to admit That he did not like it. Not one little bit. Thus driven, he did what he figured was best: He’d tell a few tales, and let us do...
2 tags
Wonderlic Test
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wonderlic_Test
While an average football player usually scores around 20 points, Wonderlic, Inc. claims a score of at least 10 points suggests a person is literate.
On the other hand, some well-known players have scored low on the test. Dan Marino scored a 16 and Vince Young also scored a 16 on the test his second try, after sources confirmed his previously...
January 2012
13 posts
2 tags
Cyclopia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyclopia
Typically, the face is either missing or replaced with a non-functioning nose in the form of a proboscis.
Most such embryos are either naturally aborted or are stillborn upon delivery/ hatching.
Folks, this is not an article about the Cyclops, that one-eyed giant of Greek myth, as depicted above in a piece by French Symbolist painter Odilon Redon. I...
5 tags
Justin Timberlake (Relationships)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Justin_Timberlake#Relationships
In the August 9–15, 2008 edition of Heat magazine, when Timberlake was asked to describe his perfect woman, he replied “About 5’7” -5’8”, nice butt, Midwestern American, kind-of-German last name, green eyes, big pouty lips, fair skin, ahhh….sinewy bod…”
Oh god. I can’t even....
2 tags
Link Rot
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Link_rot
The 404 “Not Found” response is familiar to even the occasional Web user. A number of studies have examined the prevalence of link rot on the Web, in academic literature, and in digital libraries. In a 2003 experiment, Fetterly et al. discovered that about one link out of every 200 disappeared each week from the internet.
The 404...
2 tags
Autophobia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autophobia
Autophobia (from the Greek: ἀυτο, auto, “self” and φόβος, phóbos, “fear”), is the specific phobia of isolation; a morbid fear of being egotistical, or a dread of being alone or isolated. Autophobia is also used in its literal context to mean an irrational fear of oneself
In a perfect world*, I’d have some sort of magic...
5 tags
Ettore Boiardi
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ettore_Boiardi
The patrons of Il Giardino d’Italia frequently asked for samples and recipes of his spaghetti sauce, which he often gave to customers in old milk bottles. Boiardi began to use a factory in 1928 to keep up with orders, setting his sights on selling his product nationally.
And that is how a humble immigrant boy named Boiardi from Piacenza,...
3 tags
Independent Order of Odd Fellows
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Independent_Order_of_Odd_Fellows
The command of the IOOF is to “visit the sick, relieve the distressed, bury the dead and educate the orphan.”
One might expect the “people are strange” tag to be apt for a group of people deeming themselves “Odd Fellows.”
But one would unfortunately be incorrect in that assumption.
Assume,...
3 tags
Italian Profanity
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Italian_profanity
“VADO A BORDO, CAZZO!”
Useful information, in case you ever need to chastise an Italian captain who crashes a cruise liner full of people, and then abandons ship during the rescue effort.
Not like that ever happens.
Photo courtesy of AFP.com
3 tags
Micronesia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Micronesia
Micronesia is a subregion of Oceania, comprising thousands of small islands in the western Pacific Ocean. It is distinct from Melanesia to the south, and Polynesia to the east. The Philippines lie to the west, and Indonesia to the southwest.
I’m going to come right out and admit that I don’t know jack shit about geography of the Pacific...
6 tags
Anything at All
http://en.wikipedia.org
In solidarity with today’s 24-hour Wikipedia blackout, Things I Wikipedia has decided to also black out.
(Drunk.)
VIVA EL INTERNET!!!!!!
4 tags
Rosie Ruiz
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rosie_Ruiz
In addition, her time of 2:31:56 was an unusual improvement, more than 25 minutes ahead of her reported time in the New York City Marathon six months earlier. When asked by a reporter why she didn’t seem fatigued after the grueling race, she said, “I got up with a lot of energy this morning.” Some female competitors thought it was odd...
4 tags
Davian Behavior
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Davian_behavior
There was an old miner named Dave Who kept a dead whore in his cave You have to admit He hadn’t much wit But look at the money he saved!
Davian behavior is, essentially, sex with a corpse—and is actually named after this limerick.
Are you kidding me?
Apparently not. “Davian behavior” has been observed in ground...
2 tags
Titi [Cyrilla]
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyrilla_racemiflora
Cyrilla racemiflora, the sole species in the genus Cyrilla, is a flowering plant in the family Cyrillaceae… Common names include swamp cyrilla, red titi, black titi, white titi, leatherwood, ironwood, he huckleberry, and myrtle.
Equal-opportunity titis!!!
#LOL #HAHA #TITTIES
#IAMFIVEYEARSOLD
3 tags
Aar
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aar
History
The river’s name may be attested to [sic] in the Gaulish (Helvetic) Berne zinc tablet which dates back to Roman Gaul. Its Roman name was Obringa.
All well and good—but did the river ever have PIRATES???!
[audience boo]
Right. Probably not… but it fucking has BEARS.
ggrrrrrraaaaaAAR!!!
[audience boo]
N.B. Alternate spelling:...
6 tags
List of Frivolous Political Parties
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_frivolous_political_parties
Australia
Deadly Serious Party (defunct)
Imperial British Conservative Party (see also: Cecil G. Murgatroyd)
Sun Ripened Warm Tomato Party (defunct)
Party! Party! Party! (defunct)
Surprise Party (defunct)
Belarus
Beer Lovers Party (liquidated* in 1998)
Canada
Canadian Extreme Wrestling Party (defunct)
Christian-Atheist...
December 2011
7 posts
4 tags
Feminine Rhyme
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feminine_rhyme
A feminine rhyme is a rhyme that matches two or more syllables, usually at the end of respective lines, in which the final syllable or syllables are unstressed.
Oh like, I dunno, say… MISS NANCY / AUNT FANCY ?!!!
I can’t stop myself!!!
4 tags
James Buchanan (Personal Relationships)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Buchanan#Personal_relationships
For fifteen years in Washington, D.C., before his presidency, Buchanan lived with his close friend, Alabama Senator William Rufus King. Buchanan’s and King’s close relationship prompted Andrew Jackson to call King “Miss Nancy” and “Aunt Fancy”
James Buchanan was the 15th U.S. president...
2 tags
Paul Weller
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Weller
He is also the principal figure of the 1970s and 80s mod revival and is often referred to as the Modfather.
Honestly, it doesn’t matter who Paul Weller is at this point: if he were to make me an offer… I wouldn’t refuse.
5 tags
Ty Cobb
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ty_Cobb
At the end of the sixth inning, after being challenged by teammates Sam Crawford and Jim Delahanty to do something about it, Cobb climbed into the stands and attacked Lueker, who it turns out was handicapped (he had lost all of one hand and three fingers on his other hand in an industrial accident). When onlookers shouted at Cobb to stop because the man...
3 tags
La Cucaracha (Lyrics)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/La_Cucaracha#Lyrics
“La Cucaracha” (Spanish: “The Cockroach”) is a traditional Spanish folk corrido that became popular in Mexico during the Mexican Revolution. It has additionally become a verse played on car horns. [citation needed]
If you live in L.A. like I do, you don’t need a citation.
Spanish
English
La cucaracha, la...
5 tags
Bumbershoot
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bumbershoot
The name of the festival was taken from bumbershoot, a colloquial term for umbrella, probably coined in the 19th century a portmanteau of the words umbrella and parachute.
You can stand under my bumbershoot, ershoot, ershoot, ay, ay, ay….
November 2011
1 post
16 tags
Biography Time!
I am inordinately fascinated by other people. *
That doesn’t mean I like them. I’m just driven by an obsessive interest in how other people live: how they fill their hours, what scandals and drama weigh them down, what lifts their hearts up, what they eat for breakfast. Whether or not they’re gay, aggressively gay, closeted gay, or somewhere in the middle. I’m the kind...
October 2011
2 posts
7 tags
Shanghaiing
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shanghaiing
Shanghaiing refers to the practice of conscripting men as sailors by coercive techniques such as trickery, intimidation, or violence. Those engaged in this form of kidnapping were known as crimps.
“Crimp my Ride” — (If Ice-T lived in the 19th century)
6 tags
Reepicheep (Plus Bonus Morning-After Medley Links)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reepicheep
Reepicheep is a fictional character from C.S. Lewis’, Chronicles of Narnia series. He appears in Prince Caspian, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, and also in The Last Battle. He is a large, talking mouse who carries a rapier, and wears a red plume tucked in his golden circlet. He is an experienced warrior, utterly fearless, and faultlessly...
September 2011
9 posts
5 tags
Non Compos Mentis
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/non_compos_mentis
Although typically used in law, this term can also be used metaphorically or figuratively; e.g. when one is in a confused state, intoxicated, or not of sound mind.
I should get this tattooed on my forehead. Cuts down on all the stupid crap people bother me with like “Why didn’t you call me back? I left you five voicemails! ” and “I’m sorry,...
4 tags
Jeffrey Tambor (+ Bonus Morning-After Medley...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeffrey_Tambor
A role Tambor began in 2009 is that of the recurring character Len Drexler in the sardonic comedy Archer, an animated television series on the FX network. He is a major love interest to Malory Archer played by Jessica Walter – the two formerly playing husband and wife in Arrested Development.
This is a retroactive post from the day after the 4th of...
5 tags
How to Apologize (WikiHow)
http://www.wikihow.com/Apologize
If you have a difficult time making amends for mistakes or repairing the effects of angry words, here’s how to keep your dignity while being humble, and invite forgiveness with grace. If this person ever meant anything to you or had a major impact on your life, you should apologize. Consider bringing them flowers and tell them how much you really love ...
3 tags
Welcome Freshmen
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Welcome_Freshmen
Welcome Freshmen is a television show that ran on Nickelodeon from 1991 to 1996. The show took place at Hawthorne High School with a group of high school students and a bumbling vice principal.
1991-1996? Wow. 15-20 years ago. I mean… no, I totally didn’t ever watch this. Not at all. I am not old.
NO I AM NOT CRYING I JUST HAVE...
1 tag
Jèrrais
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J%C3%A8rriais
The latest census figures (2001) show that approximately 3% of the island’s population speak Jèrriais in their personal interactions, although research suggests that up to 15% of the population have some understanding of the language. The latest census figures also showed an increase in declarations of children speaking the language
Are...
1 tag
Nail (fastener)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nail_%28fastener%29
Ovals utilize the principles of Fracture Mechanics to allow nailing without splitting. Highly anisotropic materials like regular wood (as opposed to wood composites) can easily be wedged apart. Use of an oval perpendicular to the wood’s grain cuts the wood fibers rather than wedges tham apart, and thus allows fastening without...
4 tags
List of Star Wars Species: K-O
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Star_Wars_species_%28K%E2%80%93O%29
Image: Droopy McCool, a Kitonak
Some mornings I wake my body up, wake my brain up (sometimes unsuccessfully), wake my laptop up, and am delighted by a bizarre combination of open browser tabs left over from a night of solo drunkenness and internet access. This post is from one of those mornings. I’m initiating a...
3 tags
Arbutus
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arbutus
Haha. It sounds like “butt.”
Also: damn you, NY Times Sunday crosswords.
4 tags
Head Transplant
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Head_transplant
Head transplantation inevitably involves decapitating the patient. Although it has been successfully performed using dogs, monkeys and rats, no human is known to have undergone the procedure.
Um, ok. Thank you, Google. I was actually searching for Dogfish Head Brewery, but this is… good enough?
August 2011
3 posts
3 tags
Tarantula Hawk
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tarantula_hawk
When the wasp larva hatches, it rips a small hole in the spider’s abdomen, then plunges into the spider’s belly and feeds voraciously, avoiding vital organs for as long as possible to keep it fresh… Finally, the wasp becomes an adult, and tears open the spider’s belly to get out.
Tarantula wasps are also nectarivorous....
1 tag
India Pale Ale
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/India_pale_ale
Among the earliest known named brewers whose beers were exported to India was George Hodgson of the Bow Brewery, on the Middlesex-Essex border. Bow Brewery beers became popular among East India Company traders in the late 18th century because of the brewery’s location and Hodgson’s liberal credit line of 18 months.
It’s...
5 tags
Things I Wikipedia has been FLAGGED by Google...
Hello,
During a recent review of your account we found that you are currently displaying Google ads in a manner that is not compliant with our program policies: https://www.google.com/support/adsense/bin/answer.py?
EXAMPLE PAGE: http://www.thingsiwikipedia.com/post/1123113725/hj Please note that this URL is an example and that the same violations may exist on other pages of this website or...
4 tags
Metric Ton
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metric_ton
One tonne is equivalent to:
One megagram (exactly);
megagram is the official SI term, but generally not used in industry or shipping, nor colloquially
1000⁄0.453 592 37 pounds (exactly by definition, giving approximately
2205 lb (to four significant digits)
98.42% of a long ton
One long ton (2,240 lb) is 101.605% of a tonne
110.23%...
July 2011
15 posts
1 tag
Supermarket Sweep
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Supermarket_Sweep
The “Big Sweep” was the chance for the teams to run throughout the aisles and to grab whatever they could off of the supermarket shelves.
The runner could bring their cart back to the team’s register at any time, at which point it was exchanged for an empty cart. Any items in the runner’s cart when the bell rang were...
3 tags
Han Shot First
“Han shot first” is a phrase used by Star Wars fans to refer to a controversial change made to a scene in Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope. In the scene, Han Solo meets the bounty hunter Greedo at the Mos Eisley Cantina.
After Greedo tells Han “I’ve been looking forward to this for a long time.”, Han replies “Yes, I’ll bet you have.” In the original...
4 tags
Shako (Redux)
http://www.thingsiwikipedia.com/post/1538741237/shako
“I’m totally stuck in this corner. OK…25-Across. What are those puffy hats that people in marching bands wear? I didn’t even know those had a name.”
“Haha, that’s one of my posts on Things I Wikipedia!”
“So what’s the answer?”
……………….....
1 tag
Night Terrors
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Night_terrors
There is no scientific evidence of a link between night terrors and mental illness.
Well, at least I’ve got that going for me!
2 tags
Harissa
Harissa is a Tunisian hot chili sauce commonly eaten in North Africa whose main ingredients are bird’s eye chili peppers, serrano peppers and other hot chillis and spices such as garlic paste, coriander, red chili powder, caraway as well as some vegetable or olive oil.
God, there’s nothing quite so embarrassing* than being at a hip gourmet eatery and realizing every dish on the...
3 tags
Placenta (Food)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Placenta_%28food%29
Placenta is a dish from ancient Rome consisting of sheets of flour dough (similar to modern phyllo) topped with cheese and honey and flavored with bay leaves.
OK…phew. That sounds delicious. For a minute I thought we were talking about eating Placenta, the babystuff. Because some people do that. Did you know that? See Placentophagy.
...
4 tags
Sierra Mist (History)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sierra_Mist#History
Following initial test marketing, PepsiCo first introduced Sierra Mist in 2000, replacing similar soft drinks such as lemon-lime Slice and the test-marketed Storm.
I’m more of a Diet Coke and Diet Dr. Pepper person these days [read: I have a serious addiction and need help], but back in the days of yore before dependency, lemon-lime soda...
4 tags
Rhetorical Question
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhetorical_question
“Is the Pope Catholic?” redirects here. For the minority view that the Pope is not Catholic, see Sedevacantism.
Ex.: What kind of person is dumb enough that they need to actually look this up on Wikipedia?
People who are suddenly stricken with the existential crisis of not being sure if they referenced it correctly in a pun-based...
7 tags
O.J. Simpson Murder Case
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/O._J._Simpson_murder_case
The case has been described as the most publicized criminal trial in American history
Now, don’t get me wrong, O.J. Simpson is kind of my homie. At least, the pre-murderous-rampage O.J. I went to USC for college; Mr. Simpson went and won himself a Heisman for his kick-assery on the football field there many years earlier. And how...
3 tags
Pencil (Grading and Classification)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pencil#Grading_and_classification
Many pencils across the world, and almost all in Europe, are graded on the European system using a continuum from “H” (for hardness) to “B” (for blackness), as well as “F” (for fine point). The standard writing pencil is graded HB.
Remember when you took all those art classes in college, when you were drawing and painting all...
10 tags
Penis Panic (Koro)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penis_panic
[DSM-IV-TR] gives koro’s definition as “a term, probably of Malaysian origin, that refers to an episode of sudden and intense anxiety that the penis (or, in females, the vulva and nipples) will recede into the body and possibly cause death.”
…in general, Asians with complaints of genital retraction believe that the...
4 tags
You are now aware that...: Thingsiwikipedia is a... →
youarenowawarethat:
SO I WAS ON MY DASHBOARD AND I FIND OUT THAT SIR thingsiwikipedia HAS BEEN LOOKING UP NAUGHTY THINGS—
Figging is the practice of inserting a piece of ginger root into the anus, vagina or male urethra. The ginger, skinned and often carved into the shape of a butt plug, causes an intense…
Oh, you have no idea.