September 2010
32 posts
6 tags
List of Titles and Honours of Queen Elizabeth II
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_titles_and_honours_of_Queen_Elizabeth_II
Blackberry User/American Citizen: *drooling in beer*
Android User/British Citizen: “Hey, check out all the titles Queen Elizabeth has.”
BU/AC: “Hmm?”
AC/BU/Former Australian Resident: “I’m still on the Brit track—she’s the head of the Commonwealth, and every country...
August 2010
42 posts
2 tags
Commonwealth of Nations (Citizenship)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Commonwealth_of_Nations#Commonwealth_citizenship
BU/AC: “So. You get special privileges in all of these places then… What do you get, diplomatic immunity? Car service? Shoe shine? Continental breakfast?
AU/BC: “No, it’s a tad less exciting than that. But to be fair, I hate continental breakfasts anyway.”
—-
Pretty...
4 tags
List of Members of the Commonwealth of Nations
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_members_of_the_Commonwealth_of_Nations
Android User/British Citizen: “I was right. All the members are former British colonies or dependents of colonies, and there are 54 of them total. Australia, New Zealand, Canada, a bunch of African countries and islands… “
Blackberry User/American Citizen: “India?”
AU/BC: “Yep....
3 tags
Most Excellent Order of the British Empire
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Order_of_the_British_Empire
Android User/British Citizen: “CBE. Commander of the Order of the British Empire.”
Blackberry User/American Citizen: “I know OBE is Order of the British Empire…”
AU/BC: “Commander is one step under Knight. Interesting. OBE is the next one down, and plain Member is under that.”
BU/AC: “So...
7 tags
Steve Jobs
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_jobs
Blackberry User: “Not bad, not bad.”
Android User: “Wow. He’s adopted, biological father is a Syrian Muslim and mom is an American. He dropped out of college after a semester, in which he took a calligraphy class. He went to India and came back a Buddhist. He called LSD the most important thing he’d ever done in his...
5 tags
Steve Jobs (Beginning of Apple Computers)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Jobs#Beginnings_of_Apple_Computer
Android User: “I’m still got Jony Ive’s page open, reading about his career. Interesting, he was hired upon the return of Steve Jobs’ in ‘97.”
Blackberry User: “Return? Where’d he go”“
AU: “Well, he was fired. Don’t you remember?”
BU: “Steve...
4 tags
Objectified
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Objectified
Blackberry User: “Wait a sec, I totally know who he is. He was in Objectified, that awesome movie I saw at a screening with [name redacted]. It’s all about modern product design. Totally cool.
Android User: Hmm, not familiar with it, but that totally makes sense that Jony Ivey would be featured in it.
BU: It’s done by the same guy who...
6 tags
Jonathan Ive
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonathan_Ive
Scene: The Bar. Over good beers.
Android User, checking Twitter feed: “Hmm, this guy just said something about Jony Ive, but didn’t @ reply him. The guy’s GOT to have a Twitter account.”
Blackberry User: “Who?”
AU: “Oh come on. Apple? Main designer? Responsible for their whole modern aesthetic? Jobs can...
4 tags
Tamagoyaki
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tamago
Sushi Amateur: “I really think I’m getting full at this point. I don’t think I can even do Unagi for dessert…it’s way too sweet.”
Sushi Pro: “Well, we could do something else sweet-ish… maybe tamago? I’ve never been a huge fan of it, though. Or just get another order of hirame with the ponzu...
5 tags
Sake (Disambiguation)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sake_%28disambiguation%29
Scene: Nice (authentic) sushi bar.
Sushi Amateur: “So, you always pronounce the Japanese word for salmon as ‘SHA-kay,’ but I seem to remember you saying it’s also pronounced ‘SAH-kay’ sometimes. Is that a regional dialect or something?”
Sushi Pro: “I believe so, but I think it’s also...
1 tag
A Day in the Life
Welcome, friends. Some of you may have a decent understanding of who I am and how my brain works; others of you are brand-new followers (hi!) and have no idea what you’ve gotten yourself into. Either way, I think you’ll enjoy what’s coming your way over the next few days…
All posts for today and tomorrow (and likely Sunday, given my endurance levels) will be solely based...
2 tags
Bracket
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bracket
“Due to technical restrictions, titles like “:)” and “:[” redirect here. For typographical portrayals of faces, see Emoticon.”
This article… this is way too much information, even for me. I regret this decision immediately. Especially since I didn’t find what I was looking for anyway.
Don’t ask me what...
4 tags
Patti Stanger
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patti_Stanger
The millionaire matchmaker candidates “submit a tiny biographical sketch on a DVD, similar to that of any Jeopardy contestant on-air bio.”
Somehow, I doubt those bios are similar in anything except structure.
Friend: “Dude, that chick’s, like, 50.”
Me: “What?! there’s no way she’s in her...
2 tags
Veisalgia
http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/veisalgia
Also known as a “hangover.” Or, for me, “today.”
Given the nature of yesterday’s activities, I don’t think anyone can fault me for it.
3 tags
Birthday
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Birthday
“Of all the days in the year, the one which they celebrate most is their birthday. It is customary to have the board furnished on that day with an ampler supply than common, they eat little solid food but abundance of dessert, which is set on table a few dishes at a time… They are very fond of wine.” —Herodotus
Well, this is...
3 tags
The Secret World of Alex Mack
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Secret_World_of_Alex_Mack
God, I loved this show. Larisa Oleynik was also Dawn in the Babysitter’s Club movie, so she was totally my idol. (Along with Clarissa, obviously).
Never could pronounce her name, though.
1 tag
Scrambled Eggs
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scrambled_eggs
“Another technique for cooking creamy scrambled eggs is to pipe steam into eggs with butter via a steam wand (as found on an espresso machine).”
Wha…what?
Slow down a sec, I’m still on “Raw eggs are whisked to blend the egg white and yolk into a homogeneous liquid.”
For the record, I do mine 3 parts white/1 part...
3 tags
Self-Help
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-help
Is it considered “self-help” if my therapist makes me read a self-help book?
3 tags
Mr. Belvedere
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mr._Belvedere
I had no idea he had such a distinctive pedigree.
4 tags
Anasyrma
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anasyrma
“used in connection with certain religious rituals, eroticism, and lewd jokes”
As are most of the finer things in life.
P.S. We’re stuck on a theme here, people.
3 tags
Brett Erlich
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brett_Erlich
I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS MAN. I want to know him better. In every sense of the word. (Yes, Biblically too.)
If you haven’t seen him in action, please—for the love of the internet—get yourself here ASAP:
http://current.com/shows/infomania/
http://current.com/shows/the-rotten-tomatoes-show/
Thank me later.
4 tags
Mike Lazaridis
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mike_Lazaridis
“At age 12, he won a prize at the Windsor Public Library for reading every science book in the library.”
Power to the nerds—this dude’s rich. He’s the evil genius behind the Blackberry. Meanwhile, Steve Jobs is cackling in his igloo of gold blocks.
2 tags
Home on the Range
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Home_on_the_Range
Lesson learned: the buffalo are most definitely not playing with the deer.
But I suppose anyone from Kansas could have told me that.
2 tags
Logorrhoea
“also known as ‘verbal diarrhea.’”
That’s about all I can say.
(BTW, if this knitted sad toilet paper roll is something you can’t live without—Anna at MochiMochi Land can show you how to make it…)
4 tags
Bob Barker
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_barker
“The price is WRONG, bitch!”
(Fine, fine artwork above brought to you by Gerald Sabatini)
1 tag
Harlem Globetrotters
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harlem_Globetrotters
Nelson Mandela: First South African president, Nobel Peace Prize winner…and honorary Globetrotter. Prestigious stuff.
5 tags
List of Sieges of Constantinople
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sieges_of_Constantinople
This city took it up the butt more often than Jenna Jameson.
You might say it got the works. Back before it was Istanbul.
5 tags
Nate Dogg
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nate_Dogg
Where you been, Dogg?
…oh. Shit.
2 tags
Baijiu
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baijiu
“Because of its clarity, baijiu can appear similar to several other liquors, but generally has a significantly higher ABV than, for example, vodka (35-50%), Japanese shōchū (25%), or Korean soju (20-45%), and its flavour is distinctive and unique.”
Yeah, distinctively disgusting.
Then again, I was drinking the type known as Er guo tuo: 56% ABV...
1 tag
Knickerbocker Glory
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Knickerbocker_glory
“Layers of meringue, fruit and even alcohol may be included but, as with an ice cream sundae, there is no precise recipe.”
I’ll have mine with bourbon. Hold the ice cream.
2 tags
Knickerbockers
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Knickerbockers_%28clothing%29
They’re big in Japan. Who knew?
3 tags
E. E. Cummings
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/E._E._Cummings
The battle of the cases.
4 tags
No Rest for the Wicked
“But the wicked are like the troubled sea, when it cannot rest, whose waters cast up mire and dirt. There is no peace, saith my God, to the wicked.” (Isaiah 57:20-21)
3 tags
Cap'n Crunch
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cap%27n_Crunch
Wherefore this Captain Horatio Magellan Crunch? Brought to you from the fingers of Jay Ward, creator of the notorious characters of Rocky & Bullwinkle, among others.
Also given the worst nutritional score of any cereal marketed to children and families in a 2009 study by the Rudd Center for Food Policy and Obesity at Yale.
Does a body good!
6 tags
Notable Incidents of Mooning
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mooning#Notable_incidents_of_mooning
The cheeky shall inherit the earth.
4 tags
Hobo
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hobo
“The lists in this article may contain items that are not notable, encyclopedic, or helpful.”
——-
I beg to differ. This article has greatly enhanced my life by introducing me to the following:
1. The subtle differences between hobos, tramps, and bums.
2. The fact that such a thing as a National Hobo Convention exists. Held the second...
1 tag
The Bartered Bride
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Bartered_Bride
This is my kind of opera: songs dedicated to beer, drunks dressed as bears passing out in gutters, women getting bought and sold for sex*, and vapid, rich douchebags getting their come-uppances.
And yeah, it’s an 1860’s Czech work, but NPR just covered it…so it’s cool, right?
...
8 tags
Attrition Warfare
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attrition_warfare
To quote Rodney King… “People, I just want to say, you know, can we all get along? Can we get along?”
1 tag
E.O.E. (Disambiguation)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/EOE
^^Those aren’t the droids I’m looking for.
4 tags
Beer Can Pyramid
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beer_can_pyramid
“…often called a beeramid.” Favorite pastime of frat boys, snowed-in college students, and the lethargic twenty-something unemployed. (Who, once the structure is completed, then then take it in its entirety down to the local recycling center to trade it in for nickles. Not speaking from experience.)
And once you’ve graduated...
1 tag
Pastırma
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Past%C4%B1rma
An available topping at the Los Angeles chain Big Mama’s & Papa’s Pizzeria, home of the “World’s Largest Pizza Available by Delivery”—54” (!!!) across. I’m having lactose intolerance just from imagining it.
Oh, you can also follow them on Twitter, apparently. Neat.
4 tags
Ice-Cream Headache
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ice-cream_headache
STOP… vanilla ice cream time.