Things I Wikipedia

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_frivolous_political_parties

Australia

• Deadly Serious Party (defunct)
• Imperial British Conservative Party (see also: Cecil G. Murgatroyd)
• Sun Ripened Warm Tomato Party (defunct)
• Party! Party! Party! (defunct)
• Surprise Party (defunct)

Belarus

• Beer Lovers Party (liquidated* in 1998)

Canada

• Canadian Extreme Wrestling Party (defunct)
• Christian-Atheist Party of Canada (defunct)
• Prince Edward Island Draft Beer Party (defunct)

United Kingdom

• Church of the Militant Elvis Party
• Citizens for Undead Rights and Equality
• Death, Dungeons and Taxes Party
• Fancy Dress Party
• Glow Bowling Party (defunct)
• Hardcore: You Know the Score party (defunct)
• I Want to Drop a Blancmange Down Terry Wogan’s Y-Fronts Party, for which Pamela Stephenson stood for parliament
• Mongolian Barbecue Great Place to Party
• New Millennium Bean Party

Man, what I wouldn’t give to be a part of the “Party! Party! Party!” Party.

Speaking of parties… yes, G.Wash is technically wearing a birthday hat in the picture above, but let’s pretend he’s wearing a Happy New Year’s hat.

And a happy new year to you all! Thanks for following, I promise more posts in 2012, and… stay safe.

*lol

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bumbershoot

The name of the festival was taken from bumbershoot, a colloquial term for umbrella, probably coined in the 19th century a portmanteau of the words umbrella and parachute.

You can stand under my bumbershoot, ershoot, ershoot, ay, ay, ay….

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Google, how dare you imply that my blog has contracted ADULT SEXUAL AIDS.. I, its author, have been certified HIV-negative within the past 7 days. SLANDER!

OK, but to be fair… yeah.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penis_panic

[DSM-IV-TR] gives koro’s definition as “a term, probably of Malaysian origin, that refers to an episode of sudden and intense anxiety that the penis (or, in females, the vulva and nipples) will recede into the body and possibly cause death.”

…in general, Asians with complaints of genital retraction believe that the condition is fatal, unlike most Westerners.

Extreme Shrinkage? Oh come now. Let your Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy guide you—Don’t Panic!

To be fair, though, I’d probably rather die than have an innie penis.

Also, this: http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/mon-april-28-2008/penis-theft-panic-update

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Li_Bai

Many of the Classical Chinese poets were associated with drinking wine, or more precisely, alcoholic beverages. In fact, Li Bai was part of the group of Chinese scholars during his time in Chang’an, called the “Eight Immortals of the Wine Cup”, as mentioned in a poem by fellow poet Du Fu. However, Li Bai is of special note in this respect. As Burton Watson put it, “[n]early all Chinese poets celebrate the joys of wine, but none so tirelessly and with such a note of genuine conviction as Li [Bai].

Li Bai (aka Li Po, among other Westernized spellings) is one of the most prolific and well-known Chinese poets of the Tang Dynasty. Famous for his technical prowess and “glorification of alcoholic beverages (and, indeed, frank celebration of drunkenness),” Li Bai penned such works as “Drinking Alone in the Moonlight,” translated below:

A pot of wine, under the flowering trees;
I drink alone, for no friend is near.
Raising my cup I beckon the bright moon,
For her, with my shadow, will make three people.

The moon, alas, is no drinker of wine;
Listless, my shadow creeps about at my side.
Yet with the moon as friend and the shadow as slave
I must make merry before the Spring is spent.

To the songs I sing the moon flickers her beams;
In the dance I weave my shadow tangles and breaks.
While we were sober, three shared the fun;
Now we are drunk, each goes their way.
May we long share our eternal friendship,
And meet at last on the paradise.

I, too, am a poet who frankly celebrates drunkenness, having penned such works as the following haiku:

I drink to forget
how stupid I act while drunk
oops, infinite loop

Mr. Li, I pour a little out for you now. May you rest easy in the everlasting bender of paradise.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exploding_head_syndrome

Reference to the condition was made in an episode of the ITV drama Doc Martin, which was instrumental in many sufferers becoming aware that the problem was in fact a known medical condition, and not one to be concerned about.

It’s only a matter of time until the pharmaceutical industry makes many sufferers become aware that the problem is in fact a known medical condition, and one to be very concerned about, ask their doctors about, and request a new prescription drug after seeing that commercial on TV with the confessionals of an ethnically and age diverse selection of everyday people* letting them know they’re not alone. Help is out there.

*Disclaimer: Dramatization. All testimonials depicted by actors.

Image by Keith Haring.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goodluck_Jonathan

“Dr. Goodluck Ebele Azikiwe Jonathan (born 20 November 1957) is a Nigerian politician and currently the President of Nigeria.

…Jonathan was born in Otueke in [what is] now Bayelsa State to a family of canoe makers.

…He holds a Bachelor of Science (B.Sc.) degree in Zoology in which he attained Second Class Honours, Upper Division. He also holds an M.Sc. in Hydrobiology/Fisheries biology, and a Doctor of Philosophy (Ph.D.) in Zoology from the University of Port Harcourt.”

With a name like Goodluck, you’ve gotta be bound for greatness. Even if you come from a family of canoe makers.

Also, he wears great hats.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mooning#Notable_incidents_of_mooning

The cheeky shall inherit the earth.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hobo

“The lists in this article may contain items that are not notable, encyclopedic, or helpful.”

——-

I beg to differ. This article has greatly enhanced my life by introducing me to the following:

1. The subtle differences between hobos, tramps, and bums.

2. The fact that such a thing as a National Hobo Convention exists. Held the second week of August every year in Britt, Iowa. OMFG STILL TIME TO BUY A PLANE TICKET TO IOWA RIGHT NOW I’M DOING IT BEFORE I HAVE TIME TO EVEN CONSIDER IF IT’S A TERRIBLE IDEA (WHICH IT ISN’T)

3. The Hobo Code and Hobo Lingo. I am co-opting the terms “Bindlestiff” and “Rum Bum” into my vocabulary starting right now.

4. ‘Bo is an acceptable familiar form of the ungainly label of “Hobo.”

5. Hobo can also be a verb, apparently, as in “Notable People Who Have Hoboed.”

——

That’s it. I’m having canned beans for dinner tonight.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beer_can_pyramid

“…often called a beeramid.” Favorite pastime of frat boys, snowed-in college students, and the lethargic twenty-something unemployed. (Who, once the structure is completed, then then take it in its entirety down to the local recycling center to trade it in for nickles. Not speaking from experience.)

And once you’ve graduated from dabbling in amateur monument construction, consider moving up into the pros:

(Check out http://www.manofest.com/Galleries/Geek/20-Amazing-Pieces-Of-Beer-Can-Art/ for more. Go ahead, feel small and unworthy.)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Struwwelpeter

One of the most-read books of my childhood. Twisted and terrifying. This tells you a lot about my psychology…

Difficult to spell, though.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Football_hooliganism

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Argleton

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Eustace