Things I Wikipedia

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ettore_Boiardi

The patrons of Il Giardino d’Italia frequently asked for samples and recipes of his spaghetti sauce, which he often gave to customers in old milk bottles. Boiardi began to use a factory in 1928 to keep up with orders, setting his sights on selling his product nationally.

And that is how a humble immigrant boy named Boiardi from Piacenza, Italy, who loved to cook more than anything else, came to be the king of processed, mass-marketed, canned schlock.

Why… it’s Chef Boyardee, of course!

Signore Boiardi would be proud to know his face graces the packaging of the traditional Italian offerings from his eponymous line, such as the classic “Cheesy Nacho Rotini”.

America: where dreams come true!!

Images courtesy of Time.com and chefboyardee.com

Harissa is a Tunisian hot chili sauce commonly eaten in North Africa whose main ingredients are bird’s eye chili peppers, serrano peppers and other hot chillis and spices such as garlic paste, coriander, red chili powder, caraway as well as some vegetable or olive oil.

God, there’s nothing quite so embarrassing* than being at a hip gourmet eatery and realizing every dish on the menu contains one or more ingredients that you have never heard of. Thank god that mobile internet exists so that you can furiously Wikipedia all of these ingredients on your smartphone before the waitress comes back and you have to prove how much of a rube you are by asking her to please explain what these things are so you know what you’re about to put in your face.

For the record, the Harissa egg scramble with goat cheese, chives, and crispy onions was pretty good.

*This is a lie. There are an infinite number of things are more embarrassing.

(Source: Wikipedia)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Placenta_%28food%29

Placenta is a dish from ancient Rome consisting of sheets of flour dough (similar to modern phyllo) topped with cheese and honey and flavored with bay leaves.

OK…phew. That sounds delicious. For a minute I thought we were talking about eating Placenta, the babystuff. Because some people do that. Did you know that? See Placentophagy.

Also,

GROSS.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sierra_Mist#History

Following initial test marketing, PepsiCo first introduced Sierra Mist in 2000, replacing similar soft drinks such as lemon-lime Slice and the test-marketed Storm.

I’m more of a Diet Coke and Diet Dr. Pepper person these days [read: I have a serious addiction and need help], but back in the days of yore before dependency, lemon-lime soda was an occasional special treat that I’d enjoy out at rare excursion to a restaurant, at Disneyland, etc.

While perusing the soft drink aisle in my latest bender-driven shopping trip, I had an epiphany and realized I felt more like drinking something that wasn’t laced with aspartame and caffeine. Blame it on dehydration. (The L.A. heat is getting to me.) While reaching for the Perrier, Sierra Mist caught my eye, and I was suddenly hit with a vague emotional reaction that bordered on… anger? Disdain? Contempt?

Of all the things I could have gotten emotional about that day (and believe me, there were many)…why would it be a soda?

I had to get to the root of it. After I paid for the Perrier and commenced rehydration, I investigated.

And now it’s clear. I remember the hierarchy of lemon-lime sodas from the aforementioned soda habits of my youth: the holy trinity of Sprite, Slice, and 7-Up. 7-Up was the quirky oddball, not usually available in dining establishments, but always the one my mother bought for home. Sprite might have been the King, the ubiquitous public option, but it was more of a catchall standard order at a restaurant. If you ordered a Sprite, the waitress would ask apologetically, “We’ve only got Slice; is that ok?” (AKA, “We’ve only got Pepsi” for ordering a “Coke.”) Now, Slice might have been the also-ran to Sprite, BUT—it really didn’t matter to me which of the three I got. I just wanted the flavor profile I had associated with the excitement of going out and doing something fun. 

But in 2000, Sierra Mist replaced Slice. And… whoa. Suddenly the Powers that Be (PepsiCo) had arbitrarily stepped in and said, “Hey! Let us tell you what you’ll like. Here’s a NEW COOL THING that is TOTALLY COOL and looks totally different from the old thing but is WAY BETTER than the old thing and now you TOTALLY want to buy it! Forget the old one, this is NEW and IMPROVED!” OK. 7-Up, Sprite, and… Sierra Mist? OH HELL NO. My world was rocked. And I’ll be fucked if I let someone ruin the superficial, structured understanding of the world that I’ve constructed to serve as a metaphor for emotional stability in my life. Down with change!

Fuck you, Pepsi, I won’t do what you tell me!!!!!!!

The Sierra Mist debacle is the first time I can actively remember becoming aware of being susceptible to pernicious whims of advertising execs, of struggling with identity through the psychological connection with consumer products. It made me reevalutate the things I had come to rely on in my life for comfort, and opened the doors to the great existential angst of finding yourself. Heavy stuff.

And now, I’m going to keep drinking my Diet Coke while I play with my Motorola Droid.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angel_dusting

the misleading marketing practice of including a minuscule amount of an active ingredient in a cosmetic, cosmeceutical, dietary supplement, food product, or nutraceutical, insufficient to cause any measurable benefit… However, no claim is made that the product contains enough of the active ingredient to have an effect – this is just assumed by the purchaser. Thus, while misleading, angel dusting is typically legal.

As opposed to angel dust-ing, which is… not.

*Baked with Real Fruit!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ketchup#Early_uses_in_English

The spelling catsup seems to have appeared first from the pen of Jonathan Swift, in 1730.

My father (whom we affectionately refer to as “Old Man River”) insists on spelling ketchup “catsup.” I’ve always assumed this was just the old-fashioned way; considering he also often calls the refrigerator the “icebox” and glue “stickum,” that assumption seems pretty reasonable.

One time he called the parking meter a “time machine.” That was unintentional but hilarious all the same. I am proud to share chromosomes with this man.

I got to thinking (as I often do, while staring in the icebox) about the actual word “catsup.” Catsup does not even remotely look like it should be pronounced catch-up to me. I see cat-sup or cats-up. Cat sup is gelatinous meat byproduct that I dump into bowls for my cats to sup on. Cats-up is the rallying cry for the pro-feline movement. Cats up, dogs down!

Neither of which reminds me of a tomato-based condiment.

Oh, Catsup, Catsup, wherefore art thou Catsup? Wikipedia is minimally helpful in this quest. According to the article (which does not cite sources for this), the sauce called “ke-tsiap” was invented in China. A debate with multiple theories of origins apparently rages on concerning the actual name of the sauce, but by the late 17th century it had come to be known as ketchup or catchup. Jonathan Swift (author of A Modest Proposal, my all-time favorite works of literature), in the following quote from A Panegyrick on the Dean, appears to have introduced the spelling in question into the popular consciousness:

And, for our home-bred British cheer, Botargo, catsup, and caveer.

That’s all Wikipedia has to offer, on that end.

World Wide Words (another favorite website of mine besides Wikipedia) is more helpful. It’s a neat little article with fun facts such as early ketchups contained no tomatoes, instead using ingredients like anchovies, mushrooms, and walnuts. And “catsup” appears to be merely J. Swift’s corruption of “catchup,” much like how “caveer” is a corruption of “caviar.” But in the end, who knows?

Boy, I’m sure glad I spent an hour and a half on this whole endeavor! Somebody make me a goddamn burger.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tastes_like_chicken

Furthermore, based on evidence for dinosaurs as the ancestors of birds, reptile meat might also taste somewhat like chicken and therefore dinosaurs also tasted like chicken.

Well, I certainly do now!

Thanks, Anonymous Formspring User.

*baby is not included on list of things that taste like chicken

Ask me something!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_pepper#As_medicine

Pepper contains small amounts of safrole, a mildly carcinogenic compound. Also, it is eliminated from the diet of patients having abdominal surgery and ulcers because of its irritating effect upon the intestines, being replaced by what is referred to as a bland diet. However, extracts from black pepper have been found to have antioxidant properties and anti-carcinogenic effects, especially when compared to chilli. [sic]

MAKE UP YOUR MIND PEPPER! I absolutely refuse to admit that, after years of rolling my eyes at my mother while she carped about pepper being carcinogenic, she may have been right. NOT COOL

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C3%86bleskiver

In the United States, a version of æbleskiver is sold with a commercially repackaged pan, branded as “Pancake Puffs”.

American cuisine: dumbened down for the masses.

Protip: If you’ve been fiending for “Danish Pancakes,” apparently Trader Joe’s now carries them in the frozen department.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Refried_beans Refried means… fried? I FEEL CHEATED

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/General_Tso%27s_chicken

“Moreover, descendants of General Tso still living in Xiangyin, when interviewed, say that they have never heard of such a dish.”

That would be Zuo Zongtang, renowned Chinese statesman and general who helped crush the Christian Taiping Rebellion (~1860). He also failed his official court exams seven times as a teenager.

See, kids? Persevere, and one day you’ll get your name on a dish in another culture’s crappy version of your own cuisine. Shoot for the stars.

http://www.chinesefooddiy.com/general_tso.htm

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lard

Blackberry User/American Citizen: “All right, I’m reading about lard now, I’m grossed out, late-night happy hour’s over, I’m drunk, but I can’t afford to throw down for more beer… what do we do?”

Android User/British Citizen: [silence]

BU/AC: “Bueller? Bueller? Anyone?”

AU/BC: “Oh sorry, I was checking my Twitter feed again. Hey, look at this…”

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And so it goes.

And, so ends my little theme. All of the posts have now been correctly tagged (since I forgot to include the appropriate ones on occasion), if you’re interested in seeing the whole trail. Now, back to our regularly scheduled program!

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What’s going on here?

Follow the rabbit trail!

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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Butter#Storage_and_cooking

Butter also has many non-culinary, traditional uses which are specific to certain cultures. For instance, in North America, applying butter to the handle of a door is a common prank on April Fools’ Day.

Well, the article points out that covering butter delays rancidity, which is hastened by exposure to light, air, and heat. French butter dishes are designed to sit out on the counter and enact a type of seal to keep the butter fresh.

That said, opinions about butter storage seem to be all over the map. Blackberry User was horrified when the idea was broached that it does not live in the fridge, Android User shrugged and said his family had always kept it out on the counter. Internet searches & straw polls with friends indicate the same spectrum—some peoples’ families kept the butter on the counter always, some in the fridge always, and some walked a line in between the two.

Is butter that controversial? I can’t believe it’s not.

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What’s going on here?

Follow the rabbit trail!

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P.S. What’s your stance on the great Butter Battle?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fortune_cookie#Origin

“There is a common joke involving fortune cookies that involves appending “between the sheets” or “in bed” to the end of the fortune, usually creating a sexual innuendo or other bizarre messages (e.g., “Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall [in bed]”).”

Fortune cookies are about as Chinese as California rolls are Japanese (Hint: They’re not).

Blackberry User, for the record, already knew that. But then again, she’s repeatedly gotten cookies with no fortune whatsoever in them, so she’s not even really a person, right?

Authentic or not, though, they’re still fun for the whole family…

…in bed.

Wait. Never mind.

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What’s going on here?

Follow the rabbit trail!

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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tamago

Sushi Amateur: “I really think I’m getting full at this point. I don’t think I can even do Unagi for dessert…it’s way too sweet.”

Sushi Pro: “Well, we could do something else sweet-ish… maybe tamago? I’ve never been a huge fan of it, though. Or just get another order of hirame with the ponzu sauce.”

SA: “Tamago—that’s the little omelette thing, right? You know I’m not a fan of eggs, either. No thanks. Domo.”

SP: “Well, it’s a sweet omelette. It’s eaten for breakfast a lot of the time in Japan.”

SA: “What’s it made with, sugar?”

SP: “……”

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Well, we’ve got confirmation that, in fact, tamago is eaten for breakfast. And that sweet versions exist. No further details. Then again, what do I expect from a stub?

A simple Google search reveals that ingredients in tamago include eggs, soy sauce, sugar, and mirin. (Here’s a recipe.) Wait, mirin? The Wiki said some versions include sake (booze not salmon) …maybe we should have reconsidered.

Then again, that hirame was delicious.

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What’s going on here?

Follow the rabbit trail!