Everything I tagged with life is unfair:

Gyp

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gyp

Gyp may refer to:

Gyp” doesn’t really have a Wikipedia entry, only a disambiguation page. The above definition is what I was searching for initially.

Now, to be fair, Wikipedia didn’t know that I wasn’t searching for the writer Sibylle Gabrielle Marie Antoinette Riqueti de Mirabeau (1849-1932), aka Gyp, or the rock Gypsum, or gangster Harry Horowitz, aka Gyp the Blood. Whose details I am more than happy to add to my repertoire of useless knowledge.

The issue at hand, though, was the etymology of the word “gyp.” Earlier today, I texted a friend that “I’m conflicted because I don’t want to gyp them, but I also don’t want to royally dick myself over in the process.” (in re: my fees. Because, if you have to ask, bitch, you can’t afford me!)

My phone refused to recognize my Swype pattern of G-Y-P as a valid word while I was composing the text. Now, this isn’t indicative of anything, really: this phone also consistently autocorrects “phone” to “poutine,” “better” to “beyer,” and suggests words like “isac,” “trev,” “nieves,” “nyers,” and “devel.” (Fuck you, Droid!) However, I felt a momentary panic about whether I was spelling the word right—did it start with a J? I was reminded of my continual anxiety about the word “gibberish.” Or is it “jibberish?” I’ve never actually looked it up.

* Note to self: do that.

A quick Google search proved that my instincts were correct. But it got me thinking as to where the hell this word came from in the first place.

So, the fact that Wikipedia doesn’t actually have an entry for the word itself was kind of a downer. On the upside, I got to read about cheating and confidence games (which I already knew quite a bit about, given I wrote a research paper in college about the book “Confidence Men and Painted Women: A Study of Middle-class Culture in America), and also had the pleasure of being reminded of the Simpsons episode where Homer and Bart become grifters.

For those who have followed this rambling post, and are still interested in the origin of the word gyp, enlightenment can be gained via Dictionary.com, who lists the etymology of gyp as “to cheat, swindle; probably short for Gypsy.”

Those damn Gypsies, always trying to score a buck? (/Lira/Euro/etc.)

Anything at All

http://en.wikipedia.org

In solidarity with today’s 24-hour Wikipedia blackout, Things I Wikipedia has decided to also black out.

(Drunk.)

VIVA EL INTERNET!!!!!!

Shanghaiing

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shanghaiing

Shanghaiing refers to the practice of conscripting men as sailors by coercive techniques such as trickery, intimidation, or violence. Those engaged in this form of kidnapping were known as crimps.

Crimp my Ride” — (If Ice-T lived in the 19th century)

How to Apologize (WikiHow)

http://www.wikihow.com/Apologize

If you have a difficult time making amends for mistakes or repairing the effects of angry words, here’s how to keep your dignity while being humble, and invite forgiveness with grace. If this person ever meant anything to you or had a major impact on your life, you should apologize. Consider bringing them flowers and tell them how much you really love them and that the thought of your not being together or friends just kills you. Alternatively you could prepare a candle-lite dinner to show how much you appreciate them.

Wikipedia does not have an article about tips and techniques of apologizing for royally fucking up. Fair enough. Google was helpful in that respect.

Though not helpful in helping me actually figure out how to make amends for being an idiot, an asshole, and a shameful excuse for a human being.

This was way beyond forgetting an anniversary… flowers and a candlelight dinner ain’t going to cut it.

#imfucked

Justin Bieber (Early Life)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Justin_Bieber#Early_life

Bieber’s mother, Pattie Mallette, was 18 years old when she became pregnant with her son.

Someone told me the Biebz’s mother was 16 when he was born. 18 isn’t much higher. Makes me rethink that whole “stay in school, don’t be a teen mother, go to college and get a job” thing.

Then again, that “get knocked up and give birth to Justin Bieber” thing isn’t such a reliable strategy. It might end up less “Baby” and more Rosemary’s Baby.

P.S. This is still my favorite tumblr ever: http://lesbianswholooklikejustinbieber.tumblr.com/

Meteorologists

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meterology#Meteorologists

“Many radio and television weather forecasters are professional meteorologists, while others are merely reporters with no formal meteorological training.”

You don’t say…

Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cameron_Winklevoss

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tyler_Winklevoss

Musicians, self-taught web developers, Harvard graduates, Olympic rowers, MBAs from Oxford… is there anything these guys can’t do?

Oh, right. Create Facebook.

Sacheen Littlefeather

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sacheen_Littlefeather

Today I’m making a pledge to not accept an Oscar until the gay Native Americans can get married, too.

Commonwealth of Nations (Citizenship)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Commonwealth_of_Nations#Commonwealth_citizenship

BU/AC: “So. You get special privileges in all of these places then… What do you get, diplomatic immunity? Car service? Shoe shine? Continental breakfast?

AU/BC: “No, it’s a tad less exciting than that. But to be fair, I hate continental breakfasts anyway.”

—-

Pretty straightforward. No one who lives in a Commonwealth state is (legally, if not in practice) a “foreigner” to another, some places share the right to vote, some offer consular assistance. And then there’s the ambiguous statement that “some members treat resident citizens of other Commonwealth countries preferentially to citizens of non-Commonwealth countries.” No word on if that includes sexual favors.

——

What’s going on here?

Follow the rabbit trail!

——

Ed. Note: This picture was just too amazing not to include.

Steve Jobs (Beginning of Apple Computers)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Jobs#Beginnings_of_Apple_Computer

Android User: “I’m still got Jony Ive’s page open, reading about his career. Interesting, he was hired upon the return of Steve Jobs’ in ‘97.”

Blackberry User: “Return? Where’d he go”“

AU: “Well, he was fired. Don’t you remember?”

BU: “Steve Jobs was fired?”

AU: *double take*

BU: “Look, I don’t know a ton about the history of Apple. Plus, I was probably too young to notice. You might be mentally immature, but I’m chronologically immature.”

AU: “Well, I don’t know what what evidence there is to support the idea that you’re somehow mentally mature, but yes, Jobs was fired.”

BU: “Why?”

AU: “To the internet!”

——-

Jobs was fired. “While Jobs was a persuasive and charismatic director for Apple, some of his employees from that time had described him as an erratic and temperamental manager… and at the end of May 1985 – following an internal power struggle and an announcement of significant layoffs – Sculley relieved Jobs of his duties as head of the Macintosh division.”

Ouch. Then again, the dude went on to buy The Graphics Group from Lucasfilms, which became Pixar. And, of course, Apple after he was rehired. So he’s not doing too bad, all things considered.

And Blackberry User was right—BU would have been a year old at the time of Jobs’s firing.

——

What’s going on here?

Follow the rabbit trail!

——

Nate Dogg

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nate_Dogg

Where you been, Dogg?

…oh. Shit.

Attrition Warfare

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attrition_warfare

To quote Rodney King… “People, I just want to say, you know, can we all get along? Can we get along?”

Sic Transit Gloria Mundi

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sic_transit_gloria_mundi

So it goes.

The concept bridges across time and culture. See: mujō (Japanese terms for the Buddhist concept of impermanence).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mujo

BP

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BP

Who are these bastards, anyway?

——-

All shenanigans aside, here are ways you can help the Gulf Coast while sitting on your ass in front of your computer with your credit card in your pocket. It’s the least you can do.

Help provide the families in the Gulf with emergency assistance (food, rent, etc.) with United Way: http://www.unitedway.org/gulfrecovery

Help find and save the wildlife covered in oil, and recover the ecosystem that sustains them with The National Wildlife Federation: http://www.nwf.org/

Help the long-term recover of the Gulf’s natural habitats with The Nature Conservancy: http://www.nature.org/wherewework/northamerica/gulfofmexico/

We all live on this planet.