Things I Wikipedia

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wonderlic_Test

While an average football player usually scores around 20 points, Wonderlic, Inc. claims a score of at least 10 points suggests a person is literate.

On the other hand, some well-known players have scored low on the test. Dan Marino scored a 16 and Vince Young also scored a 16 on the test his second try, after sources confirmed his previously reported score of six to be erroneous.

Vince Young’s score of 6 was “confirmed” as erroneous by the people that drafted him. Interesting.

These are the things I learn by watching the Superbowl with my buddies!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autophobia

Autophobia (from the Greek: ἀυτο, auto, “self” and φόβος, phóbos, “fear”), is the specific phobia of isolation; a morbid fear of being egotistical, or a dread of being alone or isolated.

Autophobia is also used in its literal context to mean an irrational fear of oneself

In a perfect world*, I’d have some sort of magic wand that I could wave to induce Autophobia in victims of my choosing. Think about it: couldn’t the world use more people who are morbidly afraid of being egotistical?

Now, now, get off your “absolute power corrupts absolutely” high-horse—I’d make great effort to use this power cautiously, judiciously, and only for the Greater Good.  It would be reserved strictly for people like violent, megalomaniacal political dictators, or the Kardashian sisters.

*for me

Image: “Self Fear” by Dominic McCann

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/non_compos_mentis

Although typically used in law, this term can also be used metaphorically or figuratively; e.g. when one is in a confused state, intoxicated, or not of sound mind.

I should get this tattooed on my forehead. Cuts down on all the stupid crap people bother me with like “Why didn’t you call me back? I left you five voicemails! ” and “I’m sorry, this card was declined—would you like to try another? ” and “Hey, um…. do you know where that expensive bottle of beer that I was hiding in my closet went?” and “I think you might have ketchup on your pants… or that blood?” and “You look fun, wanna come back to my place?”

Actually, it probably would make the last one more frequent. And come to think of it, it likely won’t have any effect at all, because people are stupid.

And I, clearly, am not. I already knew what that meant.

In every element of genius, there is an element of madness.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penis_panic

[DSM-IV-TR] gives koro’s definition as “a term, probably of Malaysian origin, that refers to an episode of sudden and intense anxiety that the penis (or, in females, the vulva and nipples) will recede into the body and possibly cause death.”

…in general, Asians with complaints of genital retraction believe that the condition is fatal, unlike most Westerners.

Extreme Shrinkage? Oh come now. Let your Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy guide you—Don’t Panic!

To be fair, though, I’d probably rather die than have an innie penis.

Also, this: http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/mon-april-28-2008/penis-theft-panic-update

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minnesota_nice

Syl Jones suggests that Minnesota nice isn’t really about being “nice” at all. It’s more about keeping up appearances, maintaining the social order, and keeping people in their place.

When I was growing up, my mother (who is not from Minnesota, but may as well be) used to rant on and on about the importance of being a “nice” person as opposed to a “weird” one. “Nice” people are polite people who use place mats when they eat, who never “make trouble” or “call attention to themselves” in public, who comb their hair and put themselves together before leaving the house, who do not dress “strangely,” who drink and eat in moderation, who always do what they are told without questioning, and who never, ever volunteer information about themselves or their family members to others.

“Weird” people, on the other hand, do things like fly across the country without telling anyone, pierce as many face holes as possible, hang out with porn stars on the weekends, get 80% of their calories from cheap vodka and high alcohol content beer, and make blogs. Lots and lots of blogs.

I think I’m doing a decent job of keeping it weird.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Security_blanket

In the United States, about 60% of children have at least some attachment to a security object.

And what percentage of adults do?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NAMBLA

NAMBLA publications include:

• NAMBLA Bulletin, a quarterly publication sent to dues-paying members. In 1996 co-founder David Thorstad complained that, “The Bulletin is turning into a semi-pornographic jerk-off mag for pedophiles.” Other members insisted that the group only had a minority who were pedophiles, with the majority being pederasts.


• Gayme Magazine, a publication mailed periodically to dues-paying members and sold at some bookstores. It was a periodical published by NAMBLA during the 1990s that became involved in obscenity lawsuits.


• TOPICS, a series of booklets providing more focused consideration of issues related to “man-boy love”


• Arrel’s Pages, a project through which literature concerning “man-boy love” was sold


• A prison newsletter

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-help

Is it considered “self-help” if my therapist makes me read a self-help book?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frotteurism

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Keeping_up_with_the_Joneses

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foot_fetishism

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pareidolia

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adderall#Mechanism_of_action