Everything I tagged with subterfuge:

Rosie Ruiz

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rosie_Ruiz

In addition, her time of 2:31:56 was an unusual improvement, more than 25 minutes ahead of her reported time in the New York City Marathon six months earlier. When asked by a reporter why she didn’t seem fatigued after the grueling race, she said, “I got up with a lot of energy this morning.” Some female competitors thought it was odd that, when asked what she had noticed about Wellesley while running through it, she did not mention the students of Wellesley College, who traditionally loudly cheer the first women runners as they pass the campus.

I’ve never been one for “physical fitness.” (I’m what might be generously termed “phlegmatic.”) Growing up, kids always seemed stronger, faster, or better at me than everything, be it soccer or rollerblading, and it was kind of a bummer. It’s not that I didn’t try… I just, uh, didn’t try very hard.

Every 4th of July, my hometown hosts a 5K-10K race. (This is Southern California, after all.) It’s sort of a tradition for people to run the race in the morning, go to brunch, and then watch the parade. After a couple of half-hearted years of trying to keep up with my sister (a personal trainer) and my good friends (cross-country runners) in the race, I just gave up. One year, I dragged my friend Christy down to my level: we slept late, rollerbladed down into town, and snuck into the race with the rest of our friends a quarter of a mile before the finish line.

They were sweaty, exhausted, and not amused. But they still went out to brunch with us afterwards.

Now, imagine that instead of a 4th of July Fun Run, this was the Boston Marathon, and instead of saving time by rollerblading, we had jumped on the subway; and instead of joining our friends, we had actually cut in front of everyone else; and instead of joking, we were serious.

Because that is precisely what Rosie Ruiz did in 1980.

Rosie seemingly came out of nowhere to win the race in a record-shattering time, “the fastest female time in Boston Marathon history as well as the third-fastest female time ever recorded in any marathon,” and an improvement of more than 25 minutes from her previous New York Marathon time. All without visibly breaking a sweat! Or raising her heart rate! Or appearing in any race photos!

After about a week of investigating, race officials stripped Rosie of her title and awarded it to the “second place” winner, Jacqueline Gareau, whose time still ended up being a record for the course.

And Rosie?

In 1982, Ruiz was arrested for embezzling $60,000 from a real estate company where she worked. She then moved back to southern Florida, only to be arrested for her involvement in a cocaine deal. At last report, she was working in West Palm Beach as an account representative. To this day, she still maintains that she ran the entire 1980 Boston Marathon.

In other words… somewhat less awesome than brunch.

List of Frivolous Political Parties

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_frivolous_political_parties

Australia

Belarus

Canada

United Kingdom

Man, what I wouldn’t give to be a part of the “Party! Party! Party!” Party.

Speaking of parties… yes, G.Wash is technically wearing a birthday hat in the picture above, but let’s pretend he’s wearing a Happy New Year’s hat.

And a happy new year to you all! Thanks for following, I promise more posts in 2012, and… stay safe.

*lol

Shanghaiing

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shanghaiing

Shanghaiing refers to the practice of conscripting men as sailors by coercive techniques such as trickery, intimidation, or violence. Those engaged in this form of kidnapping were known as crimps.

Crimp my Ride” — (If Ice-T lived in the 19th century)

Angel Dusting

Now, with Real Fruit!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angel_dusting

the misleading marketing practice of including a minuscule amount of an active ingredient in a cosmetic, cosmeceutical, dietary supplement, food product, or nutraceutical, insufficient to cause any measurable benefit… However, no claim is made that the product contains enough of the active ingredient to have an effect – this is just assumed by the purchaser. Thus, while misleading, angel dusting is typically legal.

As opposed to angel dust-ing, which is… not.

*Baked with Real Fruit!

Protests against the Vietnam War (Common Slogans and Chants)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Protests_against_the_Vietnam_War#Common_slogans_and_chants

Draft Beer, not boys”, “Hell no, we won’t go”, “Make love, not war” and “Eighteen today, dead tomorrow” were a few of the anti war slogans.

I’ve decided “Draft beer, not boys!” is my Thing to Loudly Repeat 800 Times While Drunk at a Bar for 2011. Replacing 2010’s “What, I’m not slurring!!” and 2009’s “Who took my keys?”

BP

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BP

Who are these bastards, anyway?

——-

All shenanigans aside, here are ways you can help the Gulf Coast while sitting on your ass in front of your computer with your credit card in your pocket. It’s the least you can do.

Help provide the families in the Gulf with emergency assistance (food, rent, etc.) with United Way: http://www.unitedway.org/gulfrecovery

Help find and save the wildlife covered in oil, and recover the ecosystem that sustains them with The National Wildlife Federation: http://www.nwf.org/

Help the long-term recover of the Gulf’s natural habitats with The Nature Conservancy: http://www.nature.org/wherewework/northamerica/gulfofmexico/

We all live on this planet.