Things I Wikipedia

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gyp

Gyp may refer to:

• A cheat or swindle

“Gyp” doesn’t really have a Wikipedia entry, only a disambiguation page. The above definition is what I was searching for initially.

Now, to be fair, Wikipedia didn’t know that I wasn’t searching for the writer Sibylle Gabrielle Marie Antoinette Riqueti de Mirabeau (1849-1932), aka Gyp, or the rock Gypsum, or gangster Harry Horowitz, aka Gyp the Blood. Whose details I am more than happy to add to my repertoire of useless knowledge.

The issue at hand, though, was the etymology of the word “gyp.” Earlier today, I texted a friend that “I’m conflicted because I don’t want to gyp them, but I also don’t want to royally dick myself over in the process.” (in re: my fees. Because, if you have to ask, bitch, you can’t afford me!)

My phone refused to recognize my Swype pattern of G-Y-P as a valid word while I was composing the text. Now, this isn’t indicative of anything, really: this phone also consistently autocorrects “phone” to “poutine,” “better” to “beyer,” and suggests words like “isac,” “trev,” “nieves,” “nyers,” and “devel.” (Fuck you, Droid!) However, I felt a momentary panic about whether I was spelling the word right—did it start with a J? I was reminded of my continual anxiety about the word “gibberish.” Or is it “jibberish?” I’ve never actually looked it up.

* Note to self: do that.

A quick Google search proved that my instincts were correct. But it got me thinking as to where the hell this word came from in the first place.

So, the fact that Wikipedia doesn’t actually have an entry for the word itself was kind of a downer. On the upside, I got to read about cheating and confidence games (which I already knew quite a bit about, given I wrote a research paper in college about the book “Confidence Men and Painted Women: A Study of Middle-class Culture in America), and also had the pleasure of being reminded of the Simpsons episode where Homer and Bart become grifters.

For those who have followed this rambling post, and are still interested in the origin of the word gyp, enlightenment can be gained via Dictionary.com, who lists the etymology of gyp as “to cheat, swindle; probably short for Gypsy.”

Those damn Gypsies, always trying to score a buck? (/Lira/Euro/etc.)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Link_rot

The 404 “Not Found” response is familiar to even the occasional Web user. A number of studies have examined the prevalence of link rot on the Web, in academic literature, and in digital libraries. In a 2003 experiment, Fetterly et al. discovered that about one link out of every 200 disappeared each week from the internet.

The 404 “Not Found” response is familiar to even the occasional Web user… and so is the subsequent rage.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penis_panic

[DSM-IV-TR] gives koro’s definition as “a term, probably of Malaysian origin, that refers to an episode of sudden and intense anxiety that the penis (or, in females, the vulva and nipples) will recede into the body and possibly cause death.”

…in general, Asians with complaints of genital retraction believe that the condition is fatal, unlike most Westerners.

Extreme Shrinkage? Oh come now. Let your Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy guide you—Don’t Panic!

To be fair, though, I’d probably rather die than have an innie penis.

Also, this: http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/mon-april-28-2008/penis-theft-panic-update

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angel_dusting

the misleading marketing practice of including a minuscule amount of an active ingredient in a cosmetic, cosmeceutical, dietary supplement, food product, or nutraceutical, insufficient to cause any measurable benefit… However, no claim is made that the product contains enough of the active ingredient to have an effect – this is just assumed by the purchaser. Thus, while misleading, angel dusting is typically legal.

As opposed to angel dust-ing, which is… not.

*Baked with Real Fruit!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Google_logo#Google_Doodle

My Dad:   “WHAT IS THAT THING???”

Me:   “Um… Dad. That’s Google. You know… the website?”

Dad:   “…BUT HOW DO I GET RID OF IT???!?!??!”

Computer funtime with my dad. (The man who calls the refrigerator the “icebox.”)

What he was referring to in panic was actually the Les Paul Google Doodle, an insanely addictive and interactive Google.com image in tribute to the master guitarist Les Paul (inventor of, among other things, the eponymous Les Paul guitar). In case you missed it, you could actually “play” the strings of the image like a guitar and even record your masterpiece.

In relaying the above story to my friends, however, I realized I had no idea what the actual name for the “Google.com image” was. And I was ashamed.

But I am ashamed no longer, because I am now armed with this knowledge. And I’m totally self-deprecating about it, which means I’m rubber and you’re glue and makes anything you say bounce off me and stick to you. BOOM!

(Source: twettey.com)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Novelty_item

Novelty items are generally devices that do not fit into another category such as gadgets, by virtue of being impractical, but this distinction is often blurred. Toys for adults are generally classed as novelties.

“Toys for adults,” you say? That could have two meanings, the way I see it. The first is literal. Sold by catalogs like Archie McPhee and Things You Never Knew Existed, these are toys for adults like the Crazy Cat Lady Board Game, Emergency Yodel Button,  Fart Noise Making Devices, and Inflatable Meatloaf which are, yes, essentially impractical.

The other meaning is euphemistic, as in sex toys. Due to various laws and restrictions, sex toy companies almost always classify their products as “novelty items” to avoid prosecution. I would argue that these types of toys are the opposite of impractical.

But maybe that’s just me.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sportsmanship

Sportsmanship can be conceptualized as an enduring and relatively stable characteristic or disposition such that individuals differ in the way they are generally expected to behave in sport situations. In general, sportsmanship refers to virtues such as fairness, self-control, courage and persistence and has been associated with interpersonal concepts of treating others and being treated fairly, maintaining self-control in dealing with others, and respect for both authority and opponents.

Well… looks like I can’t ever again feign ignorance when being called a poor sport.

Ugh. Whatever, I DIDN’T WANT TO PLAY ANYWAY

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bootstrapping

Bootstrapping or booting refers to a group of metaphors that share a common meaning: a self-sustaining process that proceeds without external help.

Well, that’s fair. The classic “boot and rally” is most certainly self-sustaining, and proceeds without external help… not counting the booze.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tempo_rubato

Because the purpose of rubato is to add a sense of improvisatory freedom to the performance, one should avoid using the same kind of rubato repeatedly in a piece. Stretching or rushing successive phrases in the same way creates a monotonous sense of predictability that defies the purpose.

Curse you, Sunday New York Times crossword puzzle—you made me cave and look up a word. My strategy of starting in the top left corner, connecting every word, and banning all lifelines such as google, dictionary.com, or my father the crossword Rain Man has been foiled.

Domo arigato, Wiki rubato.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Security_blanket

In the United States, about 60% of children have at least some attachment to a security object.

And what percentage of adults do?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Predicament_bondage

This type of bondage is used in BDSM and power exchange play. A form of edge play, it puts the subject between “a rock and a hard place” in having to choose or alternate between the two positions, each of which carry their own pain.

…or you might say, between a cock and a hard place.

HEYOOOOOOOO!

Ed. Note: Pic is not relevant, besides the fact that it depicts a predicament (and a hairy one, at that!). We’re keeping the pics clean here, kids.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Petard

The word petard comes from the Middle French peter, to break wind…The word remains in modern usage in the phrase hoist with one’s own petard, which means ‘to be harmed by one’s own plan to harm someone else’ or ‘to fall into one’s own trap,’ literally implying that one could be lifted up (hoist, or blown upward) by one’s own bomb.”

He who smelt it, dealt it.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roman_%C3%A0_clef

…a novel describing real life, behind a façade of fiction.

Oh, ok, so it’s a more pretentious way of saying “satire.” I got it. *Ed. Note: Pic is Unrelated